Friday, April 23, 2010

hugs for drugs

1 week in melbourne, 2 hospital trips.

I found what i was made of. Having no money, a world of pain and a wake up call i realised something... there's more than blood and bone under my skin.

Always learn from your mistakes, if you hit rock bottom bordering on homeless, clueless and heartless you need to take a hard look in the mirror and say to yourself "it's only up from here".

so I'll grow up fast, I'll growing up mean, my fists get hard and my wit gets keen.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

i see a story in my head, and i pull it out

I chased a woman,

No man could tame,

Skin dark and golden,

Hair burned like flames

She started running,

Leapt right overseas,

I kept her in my sights,

She grabbed hold of me,

I started shooting,

The birth of our son,

Cocaine stole reason,

I bought a gun,

She stood there screaming,

No food for her boy!

Along with my blood,

My wife I destroyed,

I put down the needle,

And here’s what I saw,

My lovers body,

My son out the door

Time waits for no man

It drags down the street,

Second hand clothing,

Bare are my feet,

This isn’t living,

My dreams are all dead,

I broke all the boundaries,

Enough! The world said,

Hell’s where I’m headed,

It can’t be much worse,

I heard death's voice calling,

Thought my heart burst.

We started shooting,

Me and my son,

I shot the needle,

And he shot my gun.

I started falling,

pay for my deeds,

I thought about my life,

A life of bad seeds

(by josh g 18/4/2010)

Friday, April 16, 2010

remove foot from mouth

whoops, i had a casting for some jazz yesterday, sunglasses hut or something but the night before i was hell tired and didnt get much sleep because... well because im a man and i have needs, so to speak.
Anyway i went to this casting and there was this BABIN' casting director who looked as tired as me, i think she realised cause she asked "didn't get much sleep either?"
me in my sleep deprived state replied "yea.. I'm hell drunk" (5 seconds past and i realized i ment to say "exhausted" i was sober as a judge) luckily she laughed and explained she could relate, she'd just given up smoking and coffee... wow i had nothing in common with this lady. so she took a few photo's had a good laugh and we went our separate ways.
I'm not holding my breath for that job.
back to melbourne now for puff's 21st where i wont have to lie about being tired or drunk.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

so i dropped a bullet in his lap and said "the next ones coming a lot fucking faster"

if alcohol gives you confidence then last night i was the prince of fucking tequila town, and kings cross my castle.

i did a shoot for ben sherman yesterday which was.... long. i wasn't allowed to sit down or i'd "crease the clothes" after 6 hours of standing up i thought i was going to top myself.
it wouldn't have been too bad if i didn't try my hand at martial arts the night before (walked past russell crowes apartment but i didn't have a phone to throw at him).

So i talked to the pretty french girl who works down stairs, organised to go out for a drink, she came, i jumped off my balcony, she didnt see my heroic feat, i hurt my foot, i limped over to meet her french friends, they liked to part, we drank, we laughed, we smoked, we drank, i invited her to m place, she said she'd catch up. i went to freshen up in my bathroom, drank....and woke up 7hours later hugging the ceramic bowl with 3 messages and 2 missed calls... dam.

now i'm hung over wearing a singlet i cut out of a beatles t-shirt on my way to a bossini casting. safe to say i'm wasting my time cause i look like a waster.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

new residency on struggle st

more news from no where;
last thur's i had to fly back to melbourne to shoot for the flamboyant Mr Peter Alexander, had a bit of fun, pretty girls in their pajama's... couldn't complain.
Got back to my parents, took off my clothes got into bed, got a phone call, put on clothes got out of bed... my friends may or may not have made moonshine and may or may not have made me drink it. the next day; hung over hung up, hung down, got a call from my sydney agency.
"josh, what are you doing?"
"washing my face with moonshine and clean underwear"
"why the fuck are you doing that?"
"its the most sterile thing in this house"
"get on a plane you have a shoot tomoro morning"
another seedy plane flight to sydney, straight to a shoot with Harold David. it involved getting butt naked and wearing a lady gaga head piece in a room full of dudes... not much different from the night before. i'm broke for the next 2weeks and have to fly back and suprise my friend to make a speech at his 21st and last chance to try win over the melbourne girl i left before she leaves for europe.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

more news from no where

well this industry is a far cry from the physically challenging and more of a mental joust of who can stab who in the back, smile and see how far they drive in the knives before someone has the balls to retaliate. in my simple life of melbourne i had my boys and everything was said as it was seen "josh...your pissing on crown casino doors and a monopoly get out of jail free card wont get you out of trouble this time" but in.... (cringe) the "fashion industry" its fashionable for people to play the role of a bitch form the mean girls cast (i have older sisters... and its an interesting glimpse into the female psyche)

anywho all i know is i know nothing at all... but what i do know is its a dog eat dog world and i have bigger teeth than you.

so my "friend" stabbed me in the back. real friends stab each other in the front. i don't care, its fine, what ev's, i'm a huge fan of revenge, it isn't sinking to their level its standing up for yourself. i'm not just a dumb house painter, if you want an intellectual battle i'm not backing down cause your dumb enough to put your gossip ahead of your career.

they've been playing checkers. i've been playing chess. fucking watch me

Friday, April 2, 2010

got my mojo working but it..just dont work on you

moving career's, cities, away from friends and the girl i was crushing on to chase vanity and immortality in the photographic sense is a vain (dorian grey) thing to do. i know this but i figure we only live once and i'm well aware that looks and money fade but at the end of the day, when im an old man i want to be able to tell my friends and (god forbid) my children that i never let reality get in the way of a good time. i was told by my mum about 5weeks ago "do a building apprenticeship you'll never make anything of yourself modelling" to which i replied. "fucking watch me". i don't want this so much to spite the woman who provided nutritious breast milk so much as i want to be able to look back and never lose the cheeky fucker attiutde that all boys get into trouble with "You Can't" will always be replied with "FUCKING. WATCH. ME"